I was planning to write about something totally different today, but during my run this morning, I changed my mind. I just had to share what I felt. And it couldn't have waited until tomorrow, because it wouldn't have felt the same anymore.
Yesterday and the day before were not the best days for me. I had a pretty big writing project to work on – it was fun and I loved it, but the deadline was super tight. It took me longer than I had anticipated and by the time I finally finished it, I was totally exhausted.
The next thing on the agenda was another project I'm currently working on. I'm terrible with computers, smart phones, printers, iPads, all that. You name it. Something always happens when I'm around this stuff. No matter how hard I try to figure it out, in the end I still have to ask someone or go somewhere to get the thing fixed. Which means a ton on wasted time and zero productivity. I may be pretty patient person otherwise, but in cases like this, I'm the worst.
Yesterday was one of these days when all the technology seemed to hate me. By the time I finally got my things working, it was late and I had no energy left to get to work. I was frustrated and decided to go to sleep. Besides, my brains just shut down after 11p and after that I'm useless.
I got up at 6a this morning and sat down to my computer to work. I was planning to go for a run but as I was sitting there with my sweatpants and sweatshirt on, staring the screen, I thought: No way. I'm feeling way too comfortable right now. Besides, I have a ton of work to do. It's dark and cold outside. I'll stay in.
The longer I was sitting the more I liked the idea of not going out. How about making myself a breakfast and finishing up that chocolate that has been sitting in the kitchen cabinet for a while?
Maybe it was the rising sun, maybe something else, but suddenly I realized that I just have to go out. GO before I eat the full meal (I can't run with my full belly) and before I break into that chocolate. If I still want it, I can have it after the run.
I told myself that I don't have to run 10K, I can do just five. See how it feels. Just get out and MOVE.
And you know what, I did. I started out slow. I don't always bring my phone with me but I did this time, hoping that Lift Like A Girl podcast keeps me company in case I really can't motivate myself. It was a good episode, as always.
And I felt so good. I was able to put behind all the stress I had faced for the past two days. I had no trouble running to my usual 5K turn-around point and then come back.
All that fresh air. All the other runners smiling and saying good morning. A dad running while pushing the stroller. An old lady in her pajamas picking up the newspaper. Some very early people hurrying to work, coffee cups in hand.
It was all gorgeous, it made me feel happy, it made me grateful for everything.
My own body, my own feet that carry me as far as I want. It was such a powerful moment. Nothing bothered me anymore. Nothing held me back. The run was a total restart for my brains.
The last mile or so I was even able to speed up my pace a bit. A couple of hundred meters was a pretty strong sprint!
I got home, showered, had a big breakfast and a piece of that chocolate in the kitchen cabinet. Just one piece.
I was totally calm. The run was just what I needed.
What if I wouldn't have gone?
I would have kept working, being frustrated and probably still stuck. I would have felt mad thinking of how much time I had lost on fixing all those troubles.
Would it have helped? Of course not.
I would have whined and blamed everything and everyone.
I would have eaten all the chocolate.
Now none of this happened. Sometimes you just need to push yourself. You need to get out of the door. You will come back with a totally different perspective on your problems. You are calm and stable and can think positively. Many big issues turn out to be minor things.
Working out is the most efficient and the most affordable therapy. Besides, the only workout you regret is the one you didn't do.